


Does a wolf shit in the woods?

by AgentHarvey31



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, No Relationship, Rated T for language, crackish, eventhough i could probably rate this as g, just covering my bases, sterek if you squint while you are upside down about a mile away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 18:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4677614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentHarvey31/pseuds/AgentHarvey31
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles says things that make Derek blush.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Does a wolf shit in the woods?

**Author's Note:**

> This is purely meant to be funny. I have no idea who they are fighting or what the plan is. I made this story just so Stiles could say that line and embarrass Derek. It was a random thought i had while taking my dog to go potty. Can you guess where i got the idea?

Derek was back. Stiles was shocked at what he was seeing.

He had decided to take a walk along the trail that stretched all across the preserve, to clear his head. He had gotten so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t realize how much time had passed. It felt like he had just started walking but the next time he looked up it was almost dark. Judging by the distance, by the time he got back to his jeep it would be dark. Great.

Just as he was getting close, he heard a rustling noise behind him. That was never good. He took the modified pepper spray bottle out of his pocket. He had tested it on Scott before he made more, the wolfsbane pepper spray mix definitely worked.  
The sound had come from behind and above him, so he tried to climb the hill as quietly as he could. What he saw he could not believe. Not only was Derek back, but apparently he couldn’t hold it until he got home. Derek, fully shifted, was taking a shit. In the woods. 

Stiles couldn’t hold in his laughter. The loud guffaw broke out of him, loud and shocking. It of course drew the attention of Derek who, when he recognized who was watching him do his business, looked as embarrassed as a wolf could. Clearly he couldn’t stop now, so he finished as quickly as he could.

Stiles was too busy laughing his ass off to even notice that Derek had run off. When he climbed back up the embankment, because of course his laughing had caused him to tumble back down it, he noticed that Derek was gone. Probably running home just to hide in blanket nest to cover his shame. Stiles was never going to forget this. Never.

 

A few weeks later, as they were dealing with the new big bad of the month, Derek finally decided to show his face. Probably thinking that waiting so long would give time for Stiles to forget about The Woods Incident. He didn’t show any indication he remembered as he was telling Derek about the “brilliant plan”. He showed up in the school parking lot just as Stiles started giving Scott the rundown of his plan. He had already told Scott that Derek was back so he wasn’t shocked to see him trudging across the lot. 

“So has he told you his inane plan yet?” Derek asks in lieu of greeting.

“Not yet but I think he was getting to that.” Scott replies.

“It’s completely idiotic and it won’t work.” That last part was said with a little more force as he directed a glare towards Stiles.

“Well why don’t you let him explain it to Scott before you try to persuade him to your side?” Stiles asks, a bit annoyed at being talked about as if he wasn’t there.

“Alright, alright just tell me the plan already. I can’t make a judgment without knowing.” Scott is clearly getting a little agitated at the bickering between Stiles and Derek, by now he really should be used to it though.

As Stiles runs through the plan, Scott starts to smile. By the time Stiles is finished Scott has a huge grin on his face and Derek is the exact opposite.

“Scott you can’t seriously be considering this. This whole thing is a disaster waiting to happen.” Derek is clearly frustrated. Trying to get his point across to Scott feels about as effective as arguing with a brick wall.

Scott's smile falls a little bit. “Maybe we should run it by the whole pack. Get a good consensus before we make a final decision.” Ok maybe a soft brick wall.

“Finally, some common sense!” Derek exclaims.

Stiles sighs, “Fine, but it’s still the only plan we have. So unless we can come up with better one at the last minute….”. He leaves his sentence unfinished pointedly.

 

They make it to the loft in record time. Stiles was surprised Derek kept it, but then again he did own it. As Stiles explains the plan to everyone, there are varying degrees of acceptance. Some are smiling just as wide as Scott was. Others (read Lydia) are still looking skeptical.

“Stiles are you sure this going to work? I mean it seems a little dangerous.” She tries to reason.

“Lyds, come on. Since when is anything we do not dangerous?” Scott and Liam start nodding, because Stiles does have a point.

“So its settled then.” Scott says, making the final decision.

After gathering all of the supplies that they will need, they all start heading to their cars to travel where they will need to be for this to work. Scott pulls Stiles over for one last check. Derek follows of course.

“I know you spent a lot of time planning this, but are you really sure it’s going to work? Like really really sure?” Scott asks imploringly.

Stiles looks up to see that Derek has followed them over. He replies looking straight at Derek instead of Scott.

“Does a wolf shit in the woods?” Stiles asks with a smirk, barely containing his laughter.

“Oh my god, I hate you!” Derek exclaims as he storms away from Stiles and Scott to the loft door.

Scott tilts his head as he looks at Stiles.

“I don’t get it. Shouldn't it be bear?” Scott says.

Stiles just can’t hold it back anymore. He doubles over laughing his ass off. When he looks up again he can see that Derek’s ears are pink as he finally makes it out the door and he would bet good money that the rest of his face is just the same.

**Author's Note:**

> Also this is un-beta'd so any mistakes are mine. Feedback is great and i love kudos. Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed.


End file.
